Guides
How to Bring Up Sex Therapy With Your Partner
You do not need to persuade your partner with the right script. You can name what feels difficult and ask whether they would talk about it with you.
Before You Ask
Know What You Want to Say
Sometimes the wish to suggest sex therapy comes after many unfinished conversations. One of you may hear the subject as criticism; the other may feel that silence has become the only way to keep the peace. Before raising therapy, it may help to know what you want from the conversation. Are you asking for shared time to speak, help understanding a desire difference, or a way to discuss pressure without a fight?
You do not have to settle the concern before inviting your partner in. You can speak about the part that affects you without assigning a diagnosis or deciding what your partner feels. For example, you might name that the subject ends abruptly when either of you feels blamed. That description creates room to talk about the pattern rather than proving who began it.
The Invitation
Keep the Door Open for Their Answer
Choose a time when neither of you is in the middle of an argument or trying to get somewhere. Say why the relationship matters to you and what you hope a conversation with a therapist could hold. Your partner may have questions about privacy, cost, or whether therapy means someone will decide who is wrong. You can answer what you know and leave room for what you do not.
An invitation is different from a demand. Your partner may need time to consider it. If they decline, you can still explore your own experience in individual therapy. You do not need to make the decision for both people in one evening. What matters is that a difficult topic can be spoken about without treating the other person as the problem to be fixed.
In the Session
What Joint Work Can Include
Couples and Sex Therapy is talk therapy, with no sexual contact or physical sexual activity in any session. Andrea asks each person what happens when the topic arises and how they understand the other's response. She may slow down a conversation that usually rushes from one sentence to an assumption. The goal is to understand what is happening between you, not to award a winning account.
You may talk about desire differences, changed closeness after a baby, shame, or a disagreement about what intimacy means. Andrea has specialized training in sex therapy. Kink, non-monogamy, and LGBTQIA+ identities are not treated as problems. When a physical concern is part of the picture, she may suggest speaking with a medical provider as well as addressing the relationship context in therapy.
Practical Details
Choose the Right Starting Point
Couples and Sex Therapy is $300 for 50 minutes. Individual Sex Therapy is $250 for 50 minutes if you want to begin on your own. A Couples & Intimacy Intensive offers 180 minutes for $1,750 when extended time is clinically appropriate. A required $100 consultation comes before any intensive, and that amount is credited in full toward your first paid session or intensive.
Sessions take place by secure telehealth while participants are physically located in Texas, Colorado, or Idaho. If you share a space for the appointment, choose a room where each of you can speak privately and be heard. If that is difficult, bring up the logistics before booking. Practical considerations do not have to decide the clinical question without a conversation.
It can help to avoid introducing therapy as a solution to your partner. Instead, speak from your own experience: what you miss, what you dread bringing up, or what you wish you could understand together. If the first conversation is awkward, it does not have to settle the decision. You can return to it at a calmer time and ask what concerns your partner has about meeting with someone.
A Next Step
When to Reach Out
If the discussion repeatedly turns into blame or stops before either of you can explain what you mean, ask about a consultation. You can say what the stuck conversation sounds like, even if your partner is not ready to attend. Andrea can discuss what is possible from there.
Begin with the conversation you both avoid.
Start with a $100 consultation. The $100 is credited in full toward your first paid session or intensive.